CHOMP!NG AT THE BIT: Aches and Pains

Brrrr, it is cold today and that is not helping my stiff neck (and now sharp muscle spasms). To make matters worse I feel ill. Fuuuuuun! If I do get a cold, I think I know how I got it...at the poker table...from Mr. Nwomgr Imsr Cyjbyn.

Now, maybe, just maybe, this guy has a health issue (that caused what I am about to describe) or decided on using a disgusting tactic to creep out the table. If it is the former, my apologies. If it is the latter, DUUUUUDE!?!?

Warning: The tale I am about to tell involves balled up napkins, mucus, and a cup filled with the aforementioned (used) napkins.

Let me set the stage. Ten men, sitting elbow-to-elbow around a poker table. Cards shuffled, dealt, played, mucked, and reshuffled. Stacks of chips bet, won, lost, and redistributed around the table.

The problem: a player is stealthily positioning his hands under the table, slowly bringing a hand back to the table, up to his face, opens his hand slightly to reveal a balled up napkin that he inserts into his nostril, removing it, placing hand below the table, swapping the napkin between his hands, repeating the above action but with the other nostril. Rinse, wash, repeat, all afternoon.

Early on, the action wasn't all that noticeable. Then a few of us noticed something but were like "No Way!" As time passed, it evolved into "Oh My God, Really?" Transitioned to "I Mean, Seriously, Really?" And spiralled into "Can't You Just Blow Your Nose?"

Hence, Mr. NWOMGR IMSR CYJBYN.

[Note: the above "sayings" were all nonverbal reactions to the questionable nasal act and the winning of the "contaminated" chips.]

Long story short, Mr. NWOMGR IMSR CYJBYN busted out of the tournament (leaving behind a plastic cup filled with gooey, round balls of napkin paper).

Long story even longer, I was the beneficiary of some of Mr. NWOMGR IMSR CYJBYN chips and (it would seem) nasal byproduct.

Sniffle...

~Sammy "The Dentist"

www.sammythedentist.net